Wife Swap with Sudra

Sudra begged for something new to do; a change of pace –another way of seeing the picture. In other words she was ready for a new adventure. She felt that the Great Jester had something in mind already, otherwise why would she be sitting at her new glass computer desktop ready and willing? The Great Jester is her name for THE ONLY ONE WHO IS (and who is that?). That's the big number one secret everyone will find out sooner or later. The big secret had been divulged to her,oh, about twenty years ago, and though she can't keep a secret; her blabbing it to anyone that remotely looks interested didn't make a dent in it becoming a widespread open secret that everyone was in on. It's still the best-kept secret there ever was. That's how the Great Jester works. When it's your time to know, it's your time. And then you are smiling and your point of view is forever changed. You are in on the big joke, and believe me, it's pretty damn funny. You'll never guess the punch line till it punches you out cold.

What about her new adventure? What would it be this time? Ah, the Great Jester was already laughing because The Great Only One decided it would be fun to play really big. Sudra's next adventure would be like the television show Wife Swap or Trading Spouses. So, who would she be trading places with? A woman who was spoiled and lived in the lap of luxury with a doting husband and many servants? A born-again Christian with five children? A woman with a fabulous career in fashion design? Who would it be? And who would fit in nicely with Sudra's life, and what part would her secret have to play in all that would take place?

The stage was set, and both wives didn't know how they signed up for such a fate or such a swap. The Great Jester can make anything plausible or causable, so Sudra found herself in a limo heading somewhere only the driver knew. She was excited and wary because if she wasn't attracted to the new family and place where they lived, she would find a way to bolt out of there very pronto. She never stuck around anywhere she didn't like. And what about the other woman? The other swapper? She was also on her way in a big black limo. She also had her reservations, too. She hadn't been away from her heart-husband in years, and she couldn't figure out why he had approved of the exchange in the first place. Was it some kind of punishment? Both women watched the scenery as their limos drove by. Each wondered where they were heading and what kind of family they would share two weeks of their lives with. Each wondered what the point of all this was, and each one didn't think it was possible that they would learn anything by this exchange experience. Of course they were both that conceited. Sudra in her artistic free flow kind of way and Bonnie in her serious dedicated spiritual kind of way. Both couldn't imagine another kind of life that they could live. Both loved their lives the way they were. Perhaps that's why the Great Jester set up the swap. Maybe it was time to see if the grass was truly greener in their own backyard. Was each woman as satisfied as she told everyone and herself almost every day?

Each woman was given a gracious period of two weeks in which she would live the other woman's life. Bonnie was dreading going to live in a big city, so she was delighted when the highway gave way to the countryside. Rolling hills presented themselves, and around the bend, a lake appeared. In the near distance the mighty Sierras loomed. It's so beautiful here, she thought. The beauty of the area calmed her, and she felt a little optimistic that this experience might even be a little pleasant for her. She asked the driver if he knew of this place—that it was so beautiful. He said, "Sure have, this road turns into two national parks. Been hiking and camping here with my kids in the summer."

Bonnie felt a nervous anxiety come over her body as the car turned up a driveway. She tried to breathe deeply and remembered the name of her God, which was also her heart-husband. She sometimes talked to him in her head and she told him, "So this is where I'll be for a while. I'll do my best, but I am missing my life with you already." Before the limo came to a complete stop, she had a chance to notice a cottage house and higher up the drive a modest attractive ranch style house. Behind the house loomed an impressive hill complete with a teepee on it. The property was landscaped and cared for. She sensed that the woman who lived here was artistic in nature and loved the natural world. The driver helped her with the door and deposited her things on the carport. The property, she noticed, also seemed to have a childlike quality to it. There were mosaics and a dragon pond, a painted wall depicting a garden scene with tortoises on it. She looked over the low-rise wall and saw two tan-colored tortoises munching on some lettuce. On her way to the door, she heard a loud exclamation of, "Wow!" It scared her for a moment until she noticed two parrots staring at her. She walked over to the aviary and said hello. The green parrot repeated over and over, "Wow! Wow!" "What's your name, pretty birds?" she asked. The red parrot studied her closely and then said, "Blissy Be, Blissy Be." "That's a funny name," she thought.

Her sense that the woman she was trading places with was an artist was confirmed when she went into the house. There was original art everywhere. She sat at the dining room table and looked around. "It feels good here," she thought. "Kinda happy." Some of that art work were self portraits of the artist, and Bonnie felt a knowing or familiarity with the woman in the portraits. "I feel like I know her," she thought. "But how, from where?" She wandered throughout the house and saw toys gathered throughout on the floors. There was more art in every room. There was a collection of elegant vases on the white baby grand piano. The three bedrooms that she wandered into were distinct from each other. One had a lot of computer equipment and musical instruments. "I wonder who lives in this room, what kind of child would have all this equipment?" The other bedroom had twin beds in it. There was even more art crowded onto the walls than in the other rooms. She felt confused, "Who shares this room?" she wondered. She noticed a hot tub and pool outside and was happy to know that she could continue her daily exercise of swimming. The last bedroom was the one she would be using. It contained a queen-size bed, a laptop and printer, exercise equipment, and a glass case full of crystal animals. She noticed a bookcase and wandered over to it. A lot of the books were photographic, about natural places, natural peoples, and places to hike. There was another bookcase that had more books and also DVDs and videos. She was surprised to see that most of these were spiritual in nature: about spiritual teachers and teachings. She was happy to see that some of her heart-husbands' videos were there. "Ah, dear heart-husband, the woman that lives here, that I am here to experience, knows of you."

She fell into a luscious sleep; a sleep that was free of dreams and full of light. She woke to a light tapping on the bedroom door.

"Are you awake?" asked Jared in a soft-spoken manner.

Bonnie nodded yes and sat up.

"Hi, I am Jared. I am Sudra's husband. Welcome, can I help you with anything?"

Bonnie smiled nervously. "Hi, Jared, I am Bonnie." She made an attempt at a joke. "I guess I'll be your wife for a couple of weeks."

Jared smiled.

Bonnie could see that he was a gentle kind of man, and that put her a little more at ease.

"Can I show you around?" he asked.

She took the tour with Jared even though she had seen the house earlier. After finishing the tour with Sudra's studio, Bonnie asked, "Your wife is quite an artist. Does she make a living being an artist?"

"Not at this time. But she is always doing art and she does some writing too."

"You support her then? What do you do?"

"Not exactly; a group of us support her. She is our teacher. I work as a computer technician for a local school."

"What kind of teacher is she?"

"Oh, I thought you knew. She is our spiritual teacher."

Bonnie was stunned.

Jared spoke up, "She is awake, like your own teacher."

Bonnie felt insecure. "Beloved, why am I here?" she asked inside her head. The place was nice and the man at her side was nice, but what was the purpose of this jest? Then she had an idea that she thought was truly inspired. Perhaps I am here to bring these people to Beloved. Maybe this was a leela of Beloved's to convert these people. She wondered why Beloved wanted this so-called enlightened woman to stay with him for a few weeks.

Beloved could act in ways that were unfathomable to her. He knew how to push her buttons and stretch her beyond what she thought she was capable of. The pit of fear in her belly expanded into a full-size balloon. She felt a rise of angry dander. "Damn," she thought. "Must I play this out?" She wanted to leave, but she had no real means of escape. She did what she always did when she felt unable to respond to her emotions: she excused herself to do her meditation.

She closed the bedroom door and lay down on the bed. She couldn't meditate, and she couldn't sleep because she was all riled up with difficult feelings that she had no way of resolving. "Well," she thought, "if Beloved wants me to experience this woman's life, I will, but I'm not going to like it."

At around six o'clock, she heard commotion outside her bedroom door. People were coming home. She forgot to ask Jared if Sudra and he had any children. "Am I expected to cook and care for them?" She dragged herself out of the bedroom to face the people. There were no children, only adults staring back at her, politely smiling.

"Hi, I'm Connor. I share the back room with my ex-wife Jamie. Glad to meet you."

Bonnie smiled.

Connor sensed that she wasn't relaxed and excited about the whole deal of the exchange. Jamie, an Asian American woman, offered her some dinner. "I made some sushi and tempura; would you like some?"

"Yes, that would be nice, thank you."

Another man arrived, a younger man in his thirties; an African-American man. "Hi, I'm Nathan. Welcome. I hope you will enjoy your stay. Sudra is really fun. She is really cool; you'll probably enjoy living her life for a while." Nathan felt a little uncomfortable; he hoped that Bonnie didn't think that he was implying that her life couldn't be as cool as Sudra's. Somehow he doubted that it could be, but he didn't want to give her the impression that he really thought that.

Jared spoke up, "Bonnie, we meditate with Sudra every night in the studio at 7:30. She faces us, and we sit with her. A lot like sitting with Beloved for you."

"I doubt that!" thought Bonnie with righteous indignation. There is only Beloved. No one else can be true like Beloved.

"Since you are taking Sudra's place, would you like to lead the meditation?"asked Jared.

"I wouldn't be comfortable doing that."

"Well, Bonnie, Sudra sees no separation in enlightenment. She knows Beloved as the very Self that She Is. I am sure she would love that you would sit with us. If you are uncomfortable, you could sit with us as one that loves the Beloved very deeply."

Bonnie was touched by Connor's words. But that Sudra had such nerve thinking she was the same as Beloved. There is no one the same as Beloved.

"I will pray to Beloved about this."

The group of Sudra's friends felt the condescension but were gracious and set the table with homemade, authentic sushi, a wonderful salad with fresh tomatoes, and for dessert, a chocolate confection that raised everyone's sugar level over the roof. They all noticed that Bonnie had two servings of the dessert.

At the meditation that evening, Connor, sensing Bonnie's discomfort, put a picture of Beloved where Sudra usually sat. Jared escorted Bonnie into the art studio, and she noticed right away the gesture and was relieved. She sat in the lotus position on the floor. Others came in and sat either on the floor or on a chair that they had brought. She sensed that people were curious about her, but everyone got to the business at hand. The room was quiet, and Bonnie gazed at the picture of her Beloved. She felt his characteristic spiritual energy fill the room, and she rode it with her cooperation of feeling Him. After a half hour, people got up, and a few remained behind to introduce themselves. A woman named Mattie invited her to go for a walk with her in the park. "Have you ever seen the big trees?" she asked.

"I think I was here before with Beloved. We did a small hike around some big trees if I remember correctly."

"Aren't the Sequoia trees incredible? This area has so much beauty. Sudra has explored a lot of it with camera in hand. She has many beautiful photos of the area."

After the plans were set for tomorrow's walk, Jared escorted Bonnie to the main house. "Would you like to watch TV with me? Sudra has TiVo so we record the shows we like and fast forward through all the commercials."

Bonnie gave her assent. They watched a reality show and a show about a secret alien invasion. Jared sat beside her on the couch and asked her if she would like a foot massage. "I give Sudra one every night."

Bonnie agreed and told Jared that she gave Beloved a foot massage every night, too.

"What is it like being with Beloved on a day-to-day basis?" asked Jared.

"It's very precious. I don't know if I can talk about it."

Jared thought that she was being stuck up, and he started to tickle her feet. She was surprised and let out a big giggle before she pulled her feet away. There was an awkward silence after that, and Bonnie excused herself to retire to her meditation.

I miss Sudra, he thought.

I miss Beloved, she thought.

Mattie picked up Bonnie at ten in the morning. She had packed a lunch for both of them, as she had planned a walk to the waterfall. She wanted to show her the granite canyon walls that Sudra called The Throne Room. Both she and Sudra loved this walk. She noticed that Bonnie wasn't too prepared for the hike; fortunately, she and Bonnie took the same shoe size, so she lent her her extra pair of hiking boots. She couldn't wait to get to know Bonnie. She wanted to ask her what Sudra would probably be doing with Beloved. Mattie always had a secret desire to get the two of them together. She thought it would be so cool for Beloved to get to know Sudra, and she knew Sudra had a love and a burning curiosity for Beloved. I wonder what the both of them have been up to. She was hoping she could pick Bonnie's brain as to what Beloved's private life was like.

"It must be something to be so close to the Avatar. Like, he is responsible for the universe and all that. I mean, he is here to get us all enlightened! Wow! Your life must be so great."

Bonnie enjoyed the woman's enthusiasm. She liked her childlike quality. Little did she know that Mattie was putting her on; that Mattie was a very advanced dreamer type. Mattie was the one that was responsible for bringing about this wife swap. Yep, Mattie was a force of her own. But Bonnie only saw what she wanted to see. And what she saw was a woman that looked up to her and Beloved with a childlike hero worship. And that is what Mattie wanted her to see.

Mattie passed the cheese and sprout sandwich on a sourdough roll to Bonnie. Bonnie felt the spray of the waterfall hit her face from time to time when the wind changed direction. She felt a little dizzy as she wasn't used to hiking in altitude. Her feet hurt, and the arthritis in her hands was aching. Still, she was enjoying the beauty of the falls and the granite walls that surrounded the valley they had just hiked into. She thought of her Beloved and how he, too, would love this place. She tried to memorize the features of the place and the name of the trail so she could tell Beloved about it, and who knows, perhaps one day Beloved would like to come here. She noticed that Mattie looked positively exhilarated, munching on her sandwich and gazing at the falls. She felt a kinship with the woman beside her and impulsively asked, "Tell me about your friend Sudra, I mean your teacher."

Mattie was thrilled; this was her favorite subject to talk about. Rarely did she have any kind of audience to talk with about Sudra. With Mattie, the subject of Sudra was tireless and unlimited. Bonnie could see that Mattie was on fire with a glow when she started to speak.

"Well, Sudra is my friend and my teacher. She is both my best friend and the best teacher I have ever had. I fell in love with her when I first met her, and my love has grown deeper over the years as she has shown me how to love more and more."

Bonnie thought, yes, that is the story of my relationship to Beloved as well.