The Next Attraction

Sudra was impatient. Dam it, she thought. After the dust settled on her last adventure – an adventure that revealed a few more pieces in the big puzzle picture of her life, everything returned to a slow normalcy. Did anything actually happen? She had learned that ‘The Mother’ was alive and living on Beloved’s island. She had met a good spirit in the form of an able bodied woman called Fallon and even enjoyed an afternoon of chat with Beloveds’ main wife: Bonnie. So what did all that amount to, she wondered.

The time spent with Bonnie was pleasant. There had been a touch; a slight touch of a hope for a friendship to blossom. Sudra encouraged Bonnie to open up to her and she did - a little. Sudra was hoping for some real interesting stories about ‘The Mother’ but Bonnie steered away from that topic. She mostly talked about her life with Beloved; how she served and loved him. Sudra thought the stories were sweet but she was hoping to hear more about the woman’s personal take on things. Most of what Bonnie said was the company line of the very good spiritual aspirant. Maybe Bonnie was that perfect. A Stepford Wife spiritual aspirant? Hello, hello, Sudra thought, is there a real person in there with feelings and opinions of her own? No one can be that perfect. Oh, yeah, that’s why it is called The Perfect Practice. You can be that perfect. I guess I never took that class, thought Sudra.

Bonnie sent Sudra a card from time to time. The cards were always a picture of Beloved. Beloved had aged a lot in the last few years and Sudra wondered if his health was holding up. Bonnie always started her cards with a quote from Beloved and added a sentence or two of a personal touch. It was always a slight touch; a bare reach. No real authentic warmth; just a hello and all is well. Sudra felt that she and Bonnie were not on the same wave length. She had hoped for more; a possibility of real cutting edge fun sisterhood sort of stuff. What she got was the standard polite society kind of stuff. Sudra couldn’t force something that wasn’t there so she settled for what Bonnie could give and worked on her plan to have some fun or a real great adventure. Her best prospects were with ‘The Mother’. Beloved, for some strange reason was running scared of seeing her, but ‘The Mother’, thought Sudra, maybe I can find a way to entice her. Find a way back to the island? No, too heavily guarded. How can I get ‘The Mother’ interested in leaving the island and meeting me some where else? Sudra considered a number of options. She had major difficulty in imagining a successful, happy, ending. She called Mattie in on it and they spent a couple of days tossing ideas back and forth. Why did Sudra want to see ‘The Mother’? Because, Sudra knew without out a doubt that ‘The Mother’ would really get her and they would have a hell of a time stirring up trouble in this bardo of mostly unconscious divinity. Sudra was tired of controlled folly and was looking for some real fun of the uncontrollable type. Unfortunately, all her ideas were frustratingly futile and she thought that the mission or adventure would have to be aborted. An event was about to take place that would prove otherwise.

Lewd The Loud knocked on her studio door. “Madam, madam, he called. Are you in there? I must talk to ya,” he declared.

Sudra called through the door, “Who in the hell are you? What do you want?”

“My name is Lewd The Loud and I need to talk to you.”

“About what? Sudra asked through the door.

“It’s about a certain gal, Hazzy, I’ve been looking for her and I’ve been told you could help me.”

“I know of no one with that name.”

“But Madam, would you let me in? Hazzy has said that she knows you. She told us if we lost touch with her to find a gal named Sudra. You are Sudra, aren’t you?” asked Lewd The Loud.

Sudra decided to open the door. She had her reservations about the lunatic at her door but what the heck, she wanted to get to the bottom of all this – her curiosity demanded that of her.

Lewd, being a very tall man had to duck to come into the doorway. He was a tall man, very lanky with dark features and facial hair and head hair that was unkempt. His clothes were once of good quality but were worn out. He was a bit dashing in a crude sort of way. He appeared to be a man of adventure that was having a period of bad luck. Sudra motioned to Lewd to sit down. “I am Sudra, what is this all about? You said your name was Lewd, right?”

“Lewd the Loud is what my friends call me. It’s a nickname I got when I started sailing years ago. My born name is Colbere. I’ve come for your help.”

“You are looking for someone named Hazzy, that’s what you said?” asked Sudra.

“Right Maam, been looking for her for awhile, ever since our ship went down, thought she drowned but I just can’t believe that, not really. Especially after the dreams started coming.”

“Does this Hazzy go by any other names? What were your dreams about?”

“Hazzy Bazaban is the name I knew her by. We were very close, I loved that crazy lady, she was my life. Everyone, once they got to know Hazzy felt that way about her. We, the crew all loved her. She was special, that Hazzy. She had a certain way about her that got you believing in the impossible. We could do things because of her that weren’t possible.”

“What kind of things?” asked Sudra.

Lewd looked embarrassed and skirted the question. “I’ve got to find her. The dreams have been coming, every night, they keep telling me that Hazzy is alive and that she needs me.”

“What has Hazzy told you about me, why would I know how to help you?” asked Sudra.

“Well Ma’am, she told me that you guys were related, that she was your mom. She told me that you would always know where she was. But, excuse me, Ma’am, talking to you, I don’t see how that can be true – her being your mom and all that – maybe more like sisters.”

“I might be able to help you. Be honest with me, were you part of a crew of pirates?” asked Sudra.

Lewd cast his glance to the floor.

“Well?” asked Sudra.

“All right, how did you know? Us being pirates is not what it seems, it’s not the whole story.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we had fallen on desperate times that forced us to take certain actions. Hazzy assured us that desperate times called for desperate actions. We didn’t start off as desperados or pirates. Hazzy showed us things that were very unusual; she had powers that are strange; kinda hard to describe. You would have to be there to see it, Ma’am. When our ship went down, I barely managed to survive. I was a float on the open seas for days. I had lost all hope; my energy was sapped, I didn’t care about living anymore but Hazzy kept appearing before me pushing me. She told me that my time wasn’t up and that we had many more adventures before us. She wouldn’t let me die. The vision of her kept me alive. By the time the Americans found me, I looked pretty bad – at deaths door but I had a smile on my lips. I was deliriously happy. Hazzy gave me everything I needed. I was a fulfilled man and now I must find her, she’s calling me to her. I know she is alive.”

Sudra was intrigued by Lewd’s story. Surely this remarkable woman; Hazzy must be ‘The Mother’ that is living on Beloved’s island. She wanted to help Lewd re-unite with her, hey, she wanted to be able to meet her. This would be no small task as the Island was guarded and everyone there was under a vow to keep her a secret. There has got to be a way.

“I think I know where Hazzy is. It won’t be easy, getting to her. I’m not sure how to go about it yet. I’ll help you, if you help me.”

Lewd was happy, “Yes, anything. I must get back to her.”

“Well, when you get to her, you must find a way to bring her to me.”

“Yes, yes! Where is she, Sudra?”

Lewd The Loud was neither lewd or loud. He was a private, modest man; a likable quiet person that if you took the time to draw him out; you would find him to be exceptionally kind and perceptive. After spending an afternoon with Sudra he figured out how the two were related. He saw in Sudra aspects that he knew and loved in Hazzy. Both women lived on an edge with life that showed him that both were unafraid of death and that enabled both women to live with an acceptance of life that benefited them in living life in a natural way. Sudra communicated this naturalness by living a simple, uncomplicated life wandering in nature and culture as her attraction called her to. Hazzy was a leader and inspired people to their potential. Both women enjoyed a ‘being here’ that noticed everyone and everything in their life and they felt a richness of life in that full noticing. Sudra lived in the ‘ordinary’ and Hazzy lived in the extraordinary. This didn’t make the two women into opposites rather they were two expressions of the same noticing and knowing. Lewd felt the welcome of acceptance by Sudra in the same way he had felt that from Hazzy after they had met. Both women were immediately attractive to him and both women gained his trust from the first meeting.

Sudra asked Lewd if she could call him by his born name, Colbere. He was agreeable to this as Lewd The Loud was only a nickname that Hazzy had given to him. It was their joke and it was intended to keep the other ‘sailors’ from noticing how inwardly intimate the two actually were. Hazzy didn’t want jealousy to rear its’ ugly head so she engaged in a play of de-fusing it whenever necessary. Hazzy also had an ability to see the future or destiny of those around her and she had told Colbere that they would be separated and that he should do everything and anything to get back to her. Colbere dreaded the inevitable separation but knew that it would occur. He was determined to get to her. Life without her wasn’t meaningful to him. He sorely missed her crazy ways. It was so much fun to be of service to her. Hazzy had also told him of Sudra and Sudra’s future. After meeting Sudra, Colbere had a hard time believing that the future that Hazzy had foretold for Sudra could possibly happen. It didn’t seem to fit. It just wasn’t how he saw Sudra. Maybe she is wrong about it, yet, Hazzy hadn’t been wrong; not even once that he knew of. He knew of a lot of Hazzys’ future predictions and he had seen all of them come true. Still, maybe she could be wrong about Sudra’s future, no one could be 100% correct, or could they? This was the first time his perceptive feelings couldn’t agree with Hazzy and that puzzled him.

Sudra questioned Colbere on his probable plan of getting to ‘The Mother’, after she had divulged to him where she was. He preferred sneaking in under the cover of night. She agreed that was the way to go. She drew him a detailed map of the island and pinpointed ‘The Mothers’ house in relationship to the Fijian village. Colbere was an experienced sailor so he was confident that he could get to the island safely. Sudra could see Colbere’s determination and hoped that Hazzy’s prediction: that they would be reunited would be the outcome of this adventure. She was also looking forward to meeting ‘The Mother’. She was excited and exhilarated at the prospect of meeting the woman she had dreamed of; the woman that had mentored her in her own struggle to awaken and live a true life. This will be a fun chapter in my life of my next adventure.

Venus wondered why she was discouraged from corresponding with Sudra. Bonnie shared with her letters and postcards she had received from Sudra. Venus could see that Bonnie enjoyed a correspondence with her. She knew that Bonnie was probably brief and formal in her letter writing; she had experienced Bonnie’s style of communicating before when she had attended the university, for a year and a half, before she dropped out. Sudra’s letters were warm and personal; sharing her takes on her life and her latest pursuits. It sometimes shocked her that Sudra didn’t ritualize life; that she was so realistic about everything. Sudra simply followed her attractions and if they didn’t work out she moved on to the next possibility. Venus felt that Sudra got to do what ever she wanted – her life was happy and full. Her own life was watched, discussed, approved and disapproved by many others. She felt pressure to be a role model of right intention, right action. It was hard to learn by making your own mistakes. She wasn’t allowed that kind of freedom. She felt, always a watchful eye on her and she resented it and longed for a personal freedom she felt denied her because she was the daughter of Beloved.

Where there is a will there is a way. Visiting Fallon one day, she noticed Fallon’s address book and when Fallon left the room to turn off the tea kettle, she quickly copied Sudra’s address down. She saw an e-mail address, too, and copied that also. She was nervous sending Sudra her first e-mail. She thought that her e-mails might be monitored or noticed. All she said in that first e-mail was, “Hi, Sudra. It’s Venus. Had a crazy, good dream about you.”

Sudra sent a reply within a day and their correspondence became very active. Venus couldn’t wait to get up each morning and tell Sudra about their latest dream adventures. She shared with Sudra her hopes, ambitions, dreams and Sudra didn’t approve or disapprove, rather she encouraged her to live her life and make her own mistakes and who knows, sooner or later everyone gets something right. Her yearning grew to go see Sudra. She had her obligations on the island and couldn’t get up and leave without the usual conference of approval and disapproval. Beloved had been ill lately and surely she couldn’t leave him to pay a visit to Sudra; whom no one knew she was communicating with. She had no money of her own. She was not free to come and go as she wanted. She watched and waited and when Beloved needed some work done within the Los Angeles organization, she volunteered to do it. Beloved and Bonnie were surprised and encouraged that she had shown interest in doing this kind of work. Perhaps she could eventually hold a leadership job in his organization. She had seemed aimless, uninterested in spiritual understanding. This was a good sign.

Once in L.A., Venus went to the usual meetings, remembered Beloved’s instructions and looked interested. It worked, everything went extremely well and no one blinked an eye when she rented a car to go see Sequoia National Park for a few days. Ralph was to accompany her but she promoted him to doing a special job for Beloved and he was most eager to stay behind and accomplish it. Wow, free at last, she thought and headed up route 5 which merged into route 99. When she saw the signs for the national park, she knew she was close to Sudra’s house. She stopped at the local general store for directions to Spoon Lever Drive. She was excited beyond compare. She felt that her life was about to finally, truly begin.