Marada Poetry
It always feels like the day after.
Again, I stayed a day too long.
I've lost all form,
where has discipline gone?
I couldn't own it.
I couldn't give it,
only witness it.
Pen point,
blank brain,
Fingers held tight on pad,
toes crinkle.
Glasses and eyes,
where's the keys?
I'm another day late.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore,
knowledge is dreary and too long.
I've got to wear it,
not say it,
'cause I've already been here too long.
5/15/85
Again I come
Again it's the same
the old tradition prevails
BUT in a most degrading way.
I take on everything for you—
Your pains, your hurts, your flesh and bones
And again this time--like so many other times
You curse me for loving you.
Yes, I can feel everything for you
I am so full of you
I am sick, diseased and demented
No loving arms beckon me forth
Duty, niceness, conventionality and arrogance--
CURSE me
What madness to love in a world such as this
I'm weary before I've begun
Couldn't you flash a smile for yourSELF?
11/10/86
Aloneness
Turning the car left onto Susquehanna Lane
I reflected, paused to consider my condition.
What is holding me here?
The old games or rules don't apply to me anymore.
Husbands, children, friends and family come and go in my life.
I slip through their ideas of me.
I have no need of them,
I have no need to have their protection from the aloneness.
Aloneness is my dear, dear friend
that fills me up with delight.
What holds me here?
Is there something I haven't finished?
To be a success at this or that?
A great artist? To meet the Perfect mate?
No, my success is my non-protection, my vulnerability,
My love of aloneness.
What is aloneness?
How could I delight in it?
I reflected deeper.
Even this wonderful aloneness is not my condition.
It is yours, my friends.
Even the fear and joy of aloneness is illusive in my true condition.
I lead you from fear to joy.
I make friends with your nightmares while you outrun them.
To awaken you is my need.
One more turn onto Emerald Street.
The need draws me to the beautiful, sleeping, alone women.
1/13/88
Saying you are God is not a boast
It is the brightest confession of
humility
To BE what has sent forth Life
Means that You
All your preferences
Important choices
Have disappeared
You are now a madwoman
STANDING FREE
As She Is
5/90
Birthday Gifts
For my birthday I received many gifts
except
the
one
that
would
matter
as
in
spirit,
the
gift
of
accepting
my
innocence.
Book
Read it.
Fire
Breathe it.
Meditate
and
leave
it.
Play
but
don't
believe
it.
Laugh
and
feel
it.
Love
and
Be It!
8/86
Could things be worse or is a star being born?
Smile dear one, it's time for me to tell you a story.
It happened long ago in a dream prediction.
At the time of awakening I couldn't understand the meaning of the dream.
You told me things that were beyond my knowing or capacity to understand.
Were the facts of your story clear?
Was the undoing real?
An empty shell, you said.
It's only labor pains my dear, I asserted.
Now, I know the ending of the story.
What I didn't realize was the story only ended for me, even though you were
dying.
I was the woman standing behind the two-way mirror.
The examination was over. It was too late for radical surgery and
after all, the doctor's fee was way beyond your means.
Our nonsense was of another kind.
Cover up, my darlings, the nights will be cold now.
The children are asleep, they are always asleep.
They haven't begged me for a story in years.
Whose Heart can I speak to now?
Dear, the children are asleep.
I yearn for an explosion to break the locked circle of denial.
There is nothing to prevent things from getting worse.
The role of madness has been made ordinary.
I point no fingers into the holes of the holy ones.
I have been born a star of light in a sky of darkness.
One star shining
One star fading
A story of a dream.
A moment when both stars burned together, then exploded into separate
universes.
I'll sing a song while I go.
I was the witness to your light.
The Dance of the Seven Veils
The dance of the seven veils
The telling of the seven jokes
is spun by the Woman of the Heart
It is not a dance of seduction
or the dance of taking possession of her
She is the dancer of dreamers
birthing visions and the touches of life
Her dance is the prism of the rainbow selves
Standing as the Heart all must pass through Her.
Her dance rides on the wind
Her laughter propels the stories of your life
Her smile is so broad infants fall from her lips
Her toes sprinkle beads of inspiration wherever she steps
Her laughter is infectious
She calls you to desire Her
Begin your dance with Her
and one by one
The veils of the programming will drop
And your nakedness will no longer be
of embarrassment to you
She will embrace you wholly,
Loving you completely
And absorb you into the Heart of the Dance.
5/90
And Do You Think I Miss...?
The long silences of repressed emotion
the superficial conversations that clothe the fear of real intimacy
the boring sexual encounters that were as dull as brushing my teeth
the frustration because I couldn't remember what it was that I love
the sickness, the pain, the dulled anger; so used to it that it seemed
normal to be that way....always emptied?
And do you think I miss...
your childish tendencies and inability to initiate real changes
in your life
the way you bought me off with trinkets?
Your needs came first
and if I had any needs that interfered with your convenience I was selfish
and made to feel guilty.
And do you think I miss my little girl that was afraid to stand up and make
her own heart changes?
And the one that mothered everyone because she wasn't mothered?
And do you think I miss...
the struggles of following my intuitions
of taking bold, firm steps on the path to really becoming the Self
learning to love my teachers
of willing to surrender my fears, my power for a look of love
from the Beloved One...?
And do you think I miss...
not having a mind
a social personality
someone I can hide behind
a painful sense of separativity
someone to find?
No, my friend, I do not miss anything.
I AM THE ONE that you are missing...
10/18/88
Don't Be Defined
Don't be defined by a man's idea of you
Go beyond definition
Love God
Assert your love for God
for yourSelf
Do what nourishes you
Challenge what doesn't
Make love your companion
Make anger a useful ally
Get out of the fog zone
Come into the light
Rest assured
you are loved.
3/9/88
I made you a tape.
I dreamed a sweeter day.
I tried to write you a poem to let you know,
it's amazing to dream.
The tape slices fragments
held together with plastic.
With a wave of my hand
My heart can surround you,
bleeding through the nightmares of tape.
You gave me those tapes....
4/30/85
Gentle flower
unfolding my heart.
The colors so brilliant
the petals soft to the touch
soft to the feeling.
Knowing, growing, smiling, dancing in the windy sun.
Its connectiveness digs deep in my heart.
Yes! Unfolding
a gentle flower
a heart.
2/3/82
If God is a Woman
If God is a woman
would she be someone's
mother
sister
wife
daughter?
Would she nourish you with freshly baked chocolate cookies
or drop hints that the poor needed feeding?
If God is a woman
would she have drooping breast that fed a hoard of children
or a flat stomach and rounded breast that could open your desire for her?
If God is a woman
woman, would she be in your image
or would she be the perfect image of what a man's idea of perfect
beauty and mother is?
If God is a woman
could we let go of our ideas of what a woman should be?
1/20/88
Heart Courage and Honesty
Heart, courage and honesty
the three rings of power
I give to you.
They flow through your star
into your vital, chest and head.
The truth is told
by the healing of the warrior spirit.
Yes, I am a warrior for the heart,
your heart.
I will never leave you broken or crippled.
The three rings of power
are my gift to you.
Warrior Women Arise!
Take Heart,
it is your way of eternal life.
8/29/86
I don't have to find bliss or feel bliss,
I AM BLISS!
8/86
Hey Teacher, Hey Preacher!
Where's the vision?
What about salvation?
I gave, I gave
so what do you say?
Throw some my way,
Hey teacher!
Illusions, delusions you say
but please make it all stay.
Throw some my way,
Hey Teacher
Hey Preacher!
7/86
I got a sister,
She is stranger than that.
She melts into ribbons of slices
(what could be stranger than that?)
I got a friend
that masquerades as my mother.
I got a brother
that I can never remember.
Jumpin' into flight
gaze at the sight.
What could be stranger than that?
6/11/85
I've never had a home of my own
Except for the moments in your arms, my love.
I've never had a place
Where no-one could come into me
I would be you
Nothing left to be me.
How to be happy
When you are convinced of unhappiness?
HOW can it be done, my love?
11/4/86
I once thought I was a woman
I lived as a woman
Ever remindful of the pain of all women
Lost and torn away from the arms and
heart of the Great Lover.
I once thought I was a warrior
I lived as a warrior
Strengthened and learned in the ways of Power
Death was my teacher
I respected her well.
I once thought I was a Dreamer
Passing through endless worlds of creation
Sleep was my playground
And waking life was only another dream
Of endless worlds of creation.
I once thought I was a Servant
Ever attentive to your needs—Woman
I listened for the signs
Anticipation of your every need and desire—WOMAN
I once thought I was an actress
With no self left to play
I became you and melted away
All illusion of separation.
My head is empty of all thought now
My Heart is open and magnificent
I am aware of your pain
your power
your death
your dreams
your service
your plays
I have traveled the road
You-O-woman are on
Give me your burdens and dreams
You will see in love
What you only once thought was possible. . .
8/29/86
I have no life to live.
I wait for my friends.
Perhaps today is the day they see how much I love them.
It could be today.
No letter in my mailbox.
No phone call from you.
Your dreams visit me,
Your thoughts blow through my form.
How I long to tell you the stories of my escape to freedom.
Today has come, it leaves me behind again.
You are not there to be held by the arms that long to play.
8/31/86
Kali
Kali! Woman! Warrior!
We walked arm in arm today
over the rugged cliffs of this sacred land
known as Kali-fornia.
Passed by
by the delicious delights
of young sensuous longings,
just two old crones,
who could notice Your Power?
Ah! Kali!
You are a Strange One
the fearless feminine One
You do not need beauty
or even offer nuturance,
yet You are meant to be worshipped
and I am completely enthralled
by Your wild demeanor!
I recognize You,
Oh dark, skeletal One,
You are my Power/Heart, Friend
You are the secret ingredient that
all woman warriors long for,
Fierceness of Power.
Kali! Woman Warrior!
Lead them to your wild freedom!
1/89
Levitate
Laying in my bed the walls collapsed and the ceiling rose
I pushed with love and floated
I was off the bed
Spinning past the heaviness of your mortality
I rose with delight
with all my love
Winged creature I am
Flying in bliss
Teacher that I am
called to assist
Let's move like a rocket through all this tired thinking
rejection of the Divine
Unable to recognize the free winged creature I am/you are
Use love to propel you not your fear
Let love rise you above your bed
Don't lay there in obligatory embrace
Enduring it by further numbing yourself.
Fly!
Levitate!
3/11/88
Living on the edge
which desire
plays on
or plays out?
which rules
do we play by now?
So confused
but I gotta play.
Keep on dancin'
while my feet disappear.
I kept it going
you kept the score
forgot to tend
to what's been
in our minds
before.
Jumping from
hearts' desire
into the fire.
Songs of magic
and mystery
which desire?
Living on the edge...
9/24/84
I look back
all those bridges
have fallen into the raging waters,
leaving me nowhere to go.
A tiny sun-drenched flower floats by.
The petals are calling forth dreams,
dreams that slip away
like those bridges I can't find anymore.
Good morning,
Good day.
Do you know of that strange wind that passes through my hair
while I am spinning?
I call for you
but I've found you
made into another bridge.
The lady sleeper is smoking another player
flower
water drenched
with what I can't remember
What's the use of looking back?
5/7/85
The Mediocre Blues!
Hamburgers and fries
Sneakers and sweats
Mechanical sex
Hi, I'm fine
Could care less about you
I'm dreaming man!
Moms and dads
Sons and daughters
Pampered possessions
Fantasy
Healing
Bored with life
Peanut butter sandwiches again
TV mini-series
Beer and cigs
Your mad—I'm glad
Your glad—I'm mad!
Could a poem open someone's heart?
Nah! Not when, Not now!
The mediocre blues are too comfortable, man!
2/23/87
I look at the mirror
Her form is there.
Is she alone?
Bright in the shadowy night.
Mirror images, dreams passing.
Her form becomes a swirl
and leaves
me outside the crystal game.
Am I alone
with her?
6/15/83
Oh Mother Kali
Oh brother Dali
paint me a picture,
use me for the canvas,
Splash the red blood of birth.
Sprinkle the pink flesh in breath.
sign your name in the lower right hand corner.
don't hand me in a museum.
Place me gently on a wall inside your dreams.
5/7/85
Mother's Day
Great Mother!
Heart of Hearts
Sara Da.
You hide your face from my internal vision—
but those eyes shine through me.
A mother to none of your own,
in a marriage of no physical intimacy.
How strange a life you lived.
A devoted wife, a strong caring mother
with the physical expression denied you.
What a great Heart Mother
to have borne such a puzzling role,
nurturing all as your own.
Great Mother!
Heart of Hearts!
Sa Ra Da.
It's in your eyes the intimacy you share.
Great Mother!
I am your daughter and sister, too.
How strange is the life I live.
I am the sister
the warrior
fighting for the right of all women's hearts to be open.
I am a mother, a wife..............yet.........
My chidren are gone from me.
My husband has his own bed.
We live a secret life, sharing the vision—
the divine as our own.
My gaze is turned to you, Mother
Oh Great Mother
Sa Ra Da.
5/10/87
My Body
My body...
is the miracle that you asked for
It does not ever end...
It includes
the streams of your thoughts
and torrents of your feelings
My body never ends...
It's an ant crawling on your toe,
a rabbit eating stew,
a squirrel gone nuts.
My body is a wildflower
Ordinary
but marvelous to come upon
after wanderings of pre-planned designs.
Wildflowers are my absurd reminder
that my body is gently unpredictable
It never ends...
I've often wondered about the silliness of it all.
Why do you keep fear of me
in your body?...
My body?
5/25/87
I dreamed my life was a movie
It was a good act
a hard one to follow
It all boiled in a strange flashing design
like a straw sucking up a puddle.
It's confusing to be all the characters,
the movie slices consciousness.
Comedy, tragedy
an Academy award,
a woman snored.
Jumpin' in,
jumpin' out.
Projecting projections.
Just who was that?
Do you remember who you are sitting next to?
Dancing in the aisles,
the light beam connects shadows and lights.
Snoring dancers awaken tonight.
12/29/85
My Students
Sisters of Light
Gather tonight
Ecstasy awaits
Don't be late.
BUT MARA
Not tonight! The baby is sick
The husband is ticked!
Alright, come when you can,
But COME.
Please! Your heart calls you to awaken.
My heart is your heart—beating for you.
BUT MARA
I've got things to do
I've got these desires
Couldn't you wait,
perhaps another night
another life?
No, but yes
I will be waiting
for you
my friends.
8/25/87
A Heart's Noticings
My yearning is over
God's love has melted me
into a plate of soupy butter
on a hot summer day.
Sloshy, drippy, golden light drips from me.
The Love of God is REMARKABLE!
In every cell of my body
there is the bliss of feeling God.
It runs out of me like uncorked champagne.
The celebration is in every movement/moment of life,
How REMARKABLE!
How remarkable that no one notices it.
How sad that no one yearns for it.
When will your yearning begin?
When will you notice that the floodgates of happiness
are gushing forth streams of BLISS?
Be still.
Breathe with me.
Drink from your full cup.
Don't be afraid, my Dear....
It's only ecstasy calling you forth
To embrace your own Heart.
4/4/87
New game
new game
Let's have fun with this one.
Mara what will you bring?
New game
new game
12/29/85
Oh, to be Self-Realized
To know who I am
To be at peace roaming the valleys of desire
To sit on the mountaintops
One with all that I survey
To look into your eyes and see all the lies just drift away.
Oh, to be happy
To love and bless
All the forms that sting on a day without play
The winds of change will blow it away.
Oh, to be crazy in freedom
Laughing without a joke
Slavery is only frozen fear
And no fear can cling to a lightning swift discrimination.
Oh, to be my Self
at peace
in a happy, crazy, free manner of Loving
Oh, to Realize the Self
To Be
To live what I am.
5/13/90
On the Nature of Enlightenment
I see your eyes everywhere,
in the fire it burns,
your eyes are everywhere.
I'm still wearing my pink sneakers,
conversing with all the stars.
The eyes have it.
Where have you been lately?
I have been
resting
laughing
in the
bliss
of a
*******************
8/86
One woman's desire
could be another man's blues.
One man's joy
could be a woman's newborn boy.
One woman's laughter
could be a man's hidden disaster.
One man's fear
could be a woman's, dear.
One woman
could be another
man.
5/7/85
I wear pink sneakers with red shoelaces,
a necklace of shiny gold-like metallic
and earrings to match.
Although my head is empty
the sneakers match quite nicely.
Sometimes I wear my hot pink belt
It gives it the added overdose.
I like to wear fashionable clothes
with clothes from a thrift shop.
I like to fool around with the who's
or what's that I am.
And sometimes, I like to wear nothing
to feel all the animals run wild through me.
It's quite funny when a frog croaks from my throat
or roadrunners run on my pink sneakers
or a dragonfly flies out of my left ear
or a butterfly licks my heart...
5/3/85
Precision
chaotic dreaming
precision scheming
The roadblocks are up
The obstacles a trick
of a fiery madman.
Woman of healing
is married to the Doctor of Madness.
Directions and instructions
sublime bodiness
distraction without resistance.
Resting fiercely
wholeness approaching.
Strength in madness, play and singing.
the Heart of One
is the heart of many.
Husband of my heart
the ring is unbroken.
9/3/86
SHE IS
She is a flower
the pen in my left hand
the me of my
she is my she body
complete with she breast
and she is with vagina, too.
She is
to be worshipped
loved and held in a whisper
She is
God, the Goddess
I can't repeat it enough
She is
She is a woman
She is that, that
that, that
you have called HE
with a capital H,
She is that, too.
She is
to be hidden no longer
She is alive
and she gave birth to you.
She is!
6/18/88
Silence
the squeak of a bird
the roaring waters splashing on rock
the wind setting my hair in motion
the streams of body-water passing between my breasts...
This is the Silence
Everywhere there is this beauty...
this Silence.
You are here with me now
The heart knows no difference
The silence dances into form
We watch
As the winds set in motion
The dance—our dance of ecstasy
We need to speak no words
The Silence is all
Silence.
3/16/89
I am not interested in teachings anymore.
I do not try to see you anymore.
I don't look for you in crowded thoughts.
I can't remember what it is that you have told me.
I have no plans to be with you.
I can't remember searching or calling or praying or resting.
I can't seem to remember anything,
even this I—is only a game I play.
I can't make any differences out.
It's silly isn't it?
Summer 86
Stop Now My Sister
Stop, now, my sister
Please take hold of my hand and look into my eyes.
What do you see there?
An ocean that pulls the river of your being to it's final journey?
Or an enveloping mist that obscures the liniment of our forms?
Or a sun that melts the core of all your fears?
Stop, now, my sister
Please reach out to touch my Heart, your Heart
What do you feel there?
A quiet joy that bursts into a carefree giggle?
A clarity that rejects all doubts?
A power that pushes aside all limitations on loving?
Sit, with me, my sister,
Massage the feet
That have treaded eons of time so you can end your journey
Find your way back home to me now.
Rest, now my sister
and lay your head on my lap.
Your head will no longer torment you with ideas of worthlessness or of
things to gain or lose.
Can you hear my plea?
Stop, now, my sister
and be free to consider your sister:
THE HEART
10/19/88
The Birthday Party
Women of power come together
men of questions
come together to see
To be thirty-three
you just might be free.
Gather art, gather the bird of amazing flights.
Gifts of joy
and penetrating heart glances.
Lace and grassy plants,
cigarettes and beer,
men and women singing their care.
Fallen asleep upon the absence of quilted dreams.
Women of power come together to feel
the men of their heart.
Men! Celebrate,
you can give birth, too!
5/5/85
There's a mystery in my life.
Be cool! Don't let it come into sight.
My life is a mystery.
What can I do when all my friends are secret agents?
Be cool! Don't let it come into sight.
I left the lights on
and burned the battery
again...
The situation is crazy,
sitting here looking at my toes
I see your reflection go up in a smile.
Oh! Be cool!
I left the mystery out on the front doorsteps again.
6/11/85
The Path
Through the jungle, forest, and thicket,
The sunlight hidden and obscured
rested a most unusual sight:
A woman, alone, without child or home;
A woman rested in bliss.
8/25/87
This experience and experiment are ending
I am wandering in fields of old dreams
Dreams that call forth no dance of the heart
Where to go and what to do?
Standing still it is collapsing quickly around my feet
Let it go
Sister dreamers, stir again the plot of possibilities
But this time, let us vision beyond any possibility of happiness
You have known before
Cast your glances at my still feet and heart
You don't need those old toys any longer
The rains are falling making way for new growth
Plant the seeds now, but not in a deliberate cautious way
Keep your eye on the sun and let what needs to birth spurt open
and what needs to die, burn away
Let's begin anew
the matters of the Heart should never grow stale
Dream beyond any shadow and burst into the sun
Grow into sunflowers...
12/20/88
This Insatiable Need
Sometimes I can't stand this insatiable need to give people love
It is frustrating, their refusal to even recognize love
So...
I slip into my artist/dream worlds
and dream/draw pictures of the Beloved One.
Refreshed and relieved of this ache,
I walk again through their paths of mind,
smiling into and accepting this disposition.
Listen, I have everything you need.
I passed unnoticed again
and the insatiable need to give people love overwhelms me again.
I have no control over it.
Sometimes I wish I could permanently slip away from this outflowing and
uncontrollable need to give love
and the awful refusal of love
to sit at my true Mother's feet
happily doing Her bidding
which is Her expression of devotion
But, even my Mother calls me to this loving work
as She has been called.
I can see, that, sometimes She is also frustrated
and dreams/draws me to Her...to pause refreshed.
We are two perfect devotees embracing the One Lover.
Oh Mother, they are calling this need to arise again.
Will this be a moment they recognize their True Love's Face
or another frustrating refusal?
10/19/88
To My Friends Everywhere
I am surrounding you.
sticking my tongue out and making silly, silly faces.
A breeze blows through my veins,
a stirring.
I see behind your eyes, my friend.
What was that dream you had the other night?
I tapped you on the shoulder when the dreaming got tough.
My arms ache to hold you,
the breezes sway you
back to the dream.
8/86
To Rama
Her hair, swoosh, swoosh
Her feet tap, pound, slide
Her hands clap, stretch in mudric shapes
Her smile slides open with no tension
Her eyes fill with the waters of all bodies
The Dance that you have taught her
She calls you to know
She could dance alone
Her body bulges and gives birth to worlds
With every turn, bow, arch and bend
That is dance enough
But in truth Her dance
Is Her expression of Love for You
Every movement shakes free a lifeline of compassion
You tend to the children, You care for all of them
She can never be distracted from Her dance of You
The birth is Hers
The burden of the crying children is Yours
She only dances for You
Her body drips with the bloods of births
The contractions are only convulsions of ecstasy
She sees only Her form everywhere
Which stands in Your heart
The twinkle in Your eye
Is the rose from the garden
Of your yet to be awakened desire
Come dance with Her now.
5/90
Touch my hand
Touch my arm
Touch my breast
Touch my belly
Touch my vagina
Touch my legs.
Rest at my feet
and live the
Heart.
8/25/87
If I ever have a moment alone with you
and you could loosen up a bit
drop the armor for a stretch
undo a kink or two
I might say to you
was our love
the intimacy we shared
all a fantasy?
Were you so afraid to see me
to touch me
Is your hunger for what you said I only
could give you
has it been satisfied my another lover's
dream?
How is it there is an awkwardness between
us
when we once shared thoughts and desires?
Is it possible that we shared
but never yielded
never loved what was before us?
I see you now as you are
frightened of love's creative impulses
I am free of the fright of mind's reactions
and see your fear of my freedom
It is awkward to love
and not to be able
to share the delights of
intimacy...
4/15/91
All in all it's terribly
unfair
unjust
I worry about every little thing
that you don't do
or do
She is just going to get hurt
doesn't she see that
I argue alone?
I try to stand apart
and let you do what you must
Oh dear, they're hurting each other again
I am without hope
I am hopelessly in love with you
Please, I beg of you
give me something to go on
that I might live with the expectation
of your love
I'm only asking that you give what you
take
Isn't that fair?
4/27/91
Where is my circle of strong women
that honor my strength giving ways?
Where is my circle of serving women
that push me to grant excesses of work of the Self
for all women?
Where is my circle of kind women
that make my life easier to withstand
the world of unloving?
Where is my circle of noble women
that guard jealously anything that distracts
them from contemplation of Me?
Where is my circle of loving women
that love so completely
that I am ever turned to love
in joy?
Where is my cirle of women
and why do I live alone?
4/28/91
Why Can't You Fall in Love?
I don't know how to love you - you wail and complain
Tell me how
Give me the five easy step plan
so I can bake it in an hour
And by the way (with hand on hip) why do you
make me need you so?
Watch me, watch me mommy
See what I can do
chasing another phantom of your mind
you justify - why do you make it so hard
for me to love you?
Can we ever have a moment
together
sitting in the sun of my Heart
without fear casting more
shadows of minds aberrations?
Off again
running to reflect on your body's fascinations
and amusement
the God of instinct - only reflecting tupperware
it contains but you can't sink your
teeth in a container of plastic shininess
It is a feast of illusions
Why can't you fall in love with what is Real?
with what is you
My Presence is the source of all your desire
why can't you love me?
why do you fear yourself?
Woman—so long dejected
forgotten
Now is the time
The gifts of the gods
have all been given you
Woman—return the balance
of a world shattered
a world crying to return
to the arms of its' loving mother.
Woman—throw off your shackles
Tend to your heart activity
Let the healing begin.
The Great One
has come as your own form
She moves with you, as you.
Woman—there is a new order
Take it in your hands
and hold it close to your Heart.
8/29/86
You gave me to your doubts,
You gave me to your concerns,
You gave me to your suspicion,
I gave to you my tears.
You gave to me your gentleness,
You gave to me your sharing,
You gave to me your laughter,
But I just disappeared.
You tried to call me up.
You tried to call me wrong.
I didn't understand what was in your fear.
You gave me your camera,
to take pictures of what you see.
I accepted your camera,
not to see what I could see.
A picture without interpretation is a wonderful scene to be.
5/3/85
You Just Ain't Getting It
You just ain't getting it!
Love does not come in quantity
Given in calculated doses
and rendered at permissible times.
No, love flows at its' own unchartered whims
Attracting and distracting me
It brushed away all my defenses
and made me a madwoman
willing to risk dangerous ground for the beloved.
You just ain't getting it!
This love that has called me it's own
Is given no mercy by your stares of defiant refusal.
Listen now
Feel it now.
There is a wondrous freeing wind that blows beyond your comprehension.
Let it sweep away the debris; the shroud that covers your heart.
Stand free and exposed.
Come out of the darkness of fear
and receive the love you have always been waiting to share.
You just ain't getting it!
3/89
My friend
my happy mysterious lover
I held her as she cried
She watched me as I shook my raised fist
We have to find a way to live here
How can we free them
if they abuse us
with their childish self obsessions day after day
we asked?
I live alone
She lives with the holy one
We meet in dreams, whispers secrets
and transcontinental, universal flights
I draw her form
She dances my song
We have been properly introduced
We share the master's food
with the children of ignorance
I love Her purity
She enjoys my true gift of Loving
Our excesses comfort us
and teaching is tolerable again
Love must be lived
for the gift to be given...
for the gift to be enjoyed.
3/14/91
I Can't Come Near
I remember those sad eyes of yours
that begged for recognition
"Please see past my bodily fears
Please don't believe me when I say
I CAN'T COME NEAR..."
I remember your hesitation doubt and disbelief
wanting it but not believing it can really be real
I'll settle for what is familiar
He will give me his protection.....
protect me from this harsh world
and I will protect him from the true effects
of his frantic animal desires
played in games of power
this was the vow of marriage
though we thought it was love at the time.
The years have past but still I can't forget
the free gifts that you have given to me
though I did not accept them at the time
nor did I understand what they were
I only know that this attraction does not leave me
and that I have settled for far less than I have dreamed
of.
You talk to me as if you are myself
How can you see me?
When I am so hidden from my own view?
I wonder what you are seeing today; feeling today?
Is it wonderful?
I can't indulge in such fantasies
it causes a yearning to rise up in my heart
that shakes the foundations of my comfortable
contented with so little life.
You seem like a dream to me now
like a cherished photograph resting, displayed only in the bottom
of my drawer
a secret...an affair that arose my desire for a greater
lover
I hide it from those that would be jealous
and consider me abnormal for having desired one like you.
Yes, I am still afraid of how you attracted me.
Your words were so challenging and your eyes so playful
BUT
AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU DO THIS...
even now your arms surround me, protect me, caress me,
You laugh at all my hesitations and fears....
all the while I am saying, "I CAN'T COME NEAR."
8/22/91
Children create a fantasy life
Where they can live in happiness
Adults insist on a fantasy
Where they can keep out true happiness.
Oh, the play of children
Oh, the ways of the oldest children.
Children feel their native shine of goodness
Regardless of what is said and done to them
Adults live in the guilt of "inherited" sin
Regardless of what it is that Lives them.
Oh, the play of children
Oh, the ways of the old, old children.
My child, come to my world (fantasy it might be),
Where innocence is the root of true wisdom.
Old, old child, see my play (fantasy that it might be),
Where the fantasy of unloving is broken
And your true inheritance awaits you.
Happiness is the playful life of young and old children.
12/90
Hey! Psst. . .
I gotta call them like I see them . . .
What a fantasy, woman!
So you're special. Really?
All that special?
Take a good look;
Try on my specs for awhile.
Wait, wait a minute . . .
Don't get offended if I make a few adjustments.
Let me clip a few of those over protected perceptions.
Equal you say? It's not like your mother's day.
Hey, babe, your vision is not 20/20.
I gotta call them like I see them.
Try another one on me . . .
Oh, you got your own life, your own dream?
You are going to be happy in the material scene?
First, the together looks,
The happening career.
Then baby and teddy bear.
What a fantasy, woman!
So what's special about all that anyway?
Psst . . . I got something you really overlooked.
Naw! It's not another fantasy.
Not even a better fantasy.
Take it easy!
Don't be afraid.
All I am doing is peeling the layer of dead skin away.
Those perceptions will sizzle away.
They don't have any Real power anyways.
Hey! You're expanding, you're dissolving.
Into what, you say?
Sssh, don't be bothering in that way.
Let the breathless state radiate the fear, the specialness
Of all that you thought dear
(It's the root of the fantasy, my dear).
Yeah, right! The fantasies are gone now.
Welcome to what is Real
She is alive, isn't She?
(The One that you had made into another one of your fantasies.)
God, She is the One,
The One whom you thought you could never Be.
12/90
I am still alive
and living in Bliss
How are you???
Long ago I was a girl
a sister
someone's wife
someone's mother
but these days I am free
to be the artist dream awakener
writer of heart's mudras and mantras
wanderer in deserts of glory
crazy fool
mystery dance of She is . . .
What a difference a moment of surrender
gives . . .
Free of the fantasy of men's egos
and women's invisible rage
I laugh!
and try to open your heart
in this moment of surrender
Don't be so hard with me
I am you
Your intimate spirit
You know me
Don't you care
to be free?
1/22/91
It's Real
It's Real
So be
Real
Free
All you ever hoped
for
Stands in the sweet
sigh
between the split of
Heart and mind
the box is your home
where your soul cannot
roam
Woman of Laughter
Woman of steel denial
She is you
Babe
She is here
today!
1/22/91
