Aloneness

Aloneness

Turning the car left onto Susquehanna Lane
I reflected, paused to consider my condition.
What is holding me here?
The old games or rules don't apply to me anymore.
Husbands, children, friends and family come and go in my life.
I slip through their ideas of me.
I have no need of them,
I have no need to have their protection from the aloneness.
Aloneness is my dear, dear friend
that fills me up with delight.

What holds me here?
Is there something I haven't finished?
To be a success at this or that?
A great artist? To meet the Perfect mate?
No, my success is my non-protection, my vulnerability,
My love of aloneness.
What is aloneness?
How could I delight in it?
I reflected deeper.
Even this wonderful aloneness is not my condition.
It is yours, my friends.
Even the fear and joy of aloneness is illusive in my true condition.
I lead you from fear to joy.
I make friends with your nightmares while you outrun them.

To awaken you is my need.
One more turn onto Emerald Street.
The need draws me to the beautiful, sleeping, alone women.

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